Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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