and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
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i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
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woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
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