Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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