walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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