I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
