We won't sleep together?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I need to sanitize my soul.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
