Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
