He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
We're hate flirting, damnit.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
