I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
