Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
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