is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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