is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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