why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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