pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
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