I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
