did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
