I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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