Where did you get a picture of my penis
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
