Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
NoShamevember. You game?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
