Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i permit you to call me
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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