my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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