the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand