The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
found the other keg... it's in the tree
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
