we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
