Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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