do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
