I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
