i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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