with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
