Who did Billy Mays play for?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
