When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
