Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
