so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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