Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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