My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
