her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
How many fucks given?
0.12846
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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