Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize