Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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