Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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