The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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