Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
