omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
