You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize