I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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