Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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