i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I deserve this hangover.
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