rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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