brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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