you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
