Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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