when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
