Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

Why did I cab home last night?

(1-310): View more from California

Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.

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(512): View more from Texas

My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle

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(916): View more from California

I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.

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(310): View more from California

Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.

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(509): View more from Washington

Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.

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(352): View more from Florida

I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...

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(815): View more from Illinois

I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost

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(802): View more from Vermont

Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.

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