If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
