The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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