Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
