fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just want to make out with him forever
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
