physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
