Me too!
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Randomize
