So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
