yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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