Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
