He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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