And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
